Confused and Hurt

I have these times when I feel confused and lost. It happens when I feel as though I've lost someone (As in a friend that suddenly doesn't seem to care anymore) and then I'm not sure what to do with myself. I feel like walls are closing in and I can't do anything because the world ignores me no matter how much I scream at it. I feel as though the walls are being put up as I'm trying to tear them down. I can't handle that as often as it seems to happen. I mean, I can, but it's very difficult. It's difficult to find the motivation to tear them down at a certain point. I feel hopeless and helpless. I feel as though I can't go on sometimes. I do because I know that some people need me and I have one person that I know for a fact won't leave me. But she's far away so I still feel alone in two senses. !: Being the loneliness of not having a partner and 2: the loneliness of not having good friends to surround me. It hurts a lot and it's hard to continue but I do anyway. Maybe someone will need me and not feel the need to take advantage of my trying to be helpful. Maybe some day people will feel the need to appreciate me and help build the confidence I lack. Until then, I'll stay a lonely bitch, unappreciated. Constantly wondering what I've done wrong.