Big Brother Best Friend?

A lot of people think of God and as someone to be afriad of or constantly mad at. In my opinion He isn't either. Yes, He is very powerful but to me He more like a body builder. My meaning is He is very powerful but He is very loving and He can be a best friend/teddy bear. He'll try to help you with your decisions if you'd like. He'll leave you alone if you'd like. He loves you no matter what. He may not like what you do but He'll love you for you and not what you do. Doesn't that sound like a friend? Like a friend you've had for years? A best friend? Is that not your relationship with your best fried? If not, then are they truly your best friend? Best friends are basically family. At least they should be. Think of your relationships with people and see what's going on. Do you have true friends that you know you can rely on? Or are they people you know you really cannot trust? I'm not saying believe in God and everything will be better. God doesn't respond to things the way that most people, He responds in His own time which is one thing that most people don't like. He can be your best friend, though. He is just one that would like to be loved back. One that wants to help you through your troubles if you'd like Him to. He doesn't do anything you don't want Him to. Some people really forget who He is though and seem to judge others around because they think it'll help somehow. Of course it doesn't in the least. Don't judge them becuase of them. They are only lost in a different way. Everyone is really lost in one way or another. That's why God is there to help us. Don't take this as a Christian push. Take this as informational if anything. I just want anyone who's listening to hear truth. I'm still learning the truth as I grow and this is one thing I've learned. Thank you...

Hey You!

Did you see pain in my eyes with the love I have for you? Do you realise my conflicting thoughts going on at all times? One moment I'm telling myself that I'm ridiculous and I'm doing what's right. Then I think that it'd be right to be with you instead. I don't want to think that I can change you. I don't want you to change. I love you the way you are. I love you as a friend. Why do I feel any more for you? I don't know. You are just so wonderful. You're intelligent. Trustworthy. I know you'll tell me the truth. I love hanging out with you any time that I'm able. I always miss you when I don't see your face. Why? I don't even know. You don't believe in anything. I don't know if you even believe in yourself. I hope you do. You can do whatever you'd like to in this world. I believe in you. I see potential that tells me anything you do will be great. Anybody that tells you different is stupid. Or they don't know you which still makes them stupid because then they're assuming they know you. No one should assume anything. That is judging, by the way. Please. Don't judge people, it's no fun.

What Am Is My Thoughts?

My thoughts are always twisted and turned. They're always nonsense that some people can read some how. They're long usually and short only a few times. Why? They're like labrynths. Why would anyone want to travel through them? Are they interesting somehow? Is it my point of view? Do I make you angry when I speak? Maybe it's a very random happenstance that you even see my thoughts, my feelings. I don't look for agreement. I hope for acceptance as does everyone does in this world. Does agreement mean acceptance? To some it really does. I'm sorry but no matter what I will love you even if I don't agree with what you're doing. I don't care if you believe me but that is the total honest trutht. Don't push me to believing that you're right, either. It won't help. It never helps anyone. I will love you and hope for love in return. Not judgement. Judging is no fun. Try to just look at a person and think, "Hey! It's another human being!" And try to get to know them before you put a big ugly sticker on them.

Confused But Interesting Thoughts

My friends. Sit down. Relax. Breathe. See what you want to see. Cry about what you'd like to. Smile because today is another day. Close your eyes. Realise your life is something more than you thought. Imagine what you'd like the world to be. Don't be in the world that is right now. How easy is that for you? Apparently for most people it is quite easy to see the good more than the evil. Then evil comes and it's God's fault. How the hell does that work for you? Tell me how that makes sense. Enlighten me. Tell me how abortion is okay. Don't argue with me just tell me. Discuss instead of angrily arguing. That seems to be easier for people as well. Why? Can't we discuss instead? Discuss our differences? Discuss what we believe is right and listen to what we think is wrong. Don't argue if you really know what you believe is correct. Don't try to convince someone that what you believe in is right. If they don't want to believe in your truth then it won't work until they want to believe. If you put something in their face then they REALLY won't want to believe in your belief. I'm not even only talking about christianity. I'm talking about any religion. Or homosexuality. Or anything you can come up with to argue about. If you argue it just sounds stupid. You contradict yourself when you're angry. Calm down. Sit. Drink some tea. Maybe smoke something. Just relax. Know to listen as well as speak. Know to be kind even to those that you hate or dislike with a passion. Be kind to strangers. I'm not saying karma is totally correct and true but there is something to that. If you do good, good may come to you. You never know when. Good always comes in its own time. Always remember that it's always worse before it gets better. Always. That's just life. Just calm down. Don't freak out too much. Your life is impatience. Your life is small. It doesn't matter who you think you are. It doesn't matter what other people think you are or want you to be. It matters what you are to others when they least expect it. Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. Stop judging like you'd like to not be judged. Love like you'd like to be loved. Don't think so violently or impatiently. Calm down. Relax. Read. Listen to music. Think Why? When? How? Which? Where? And answer as you know or would like to believe. Go and be answered by another to compare. Don't get mad when you don't like the answer. You asked and you get. Say please when you want. Say thank you when you get. No matter what. Breathe. Smile at all. Believe in yourself. Don't be afraid to ask stupid questions, those aren't real. Your questions are beautiful and they are meant to be answered. Pray for children. Pray for the future. Pray for people. Just calm down. It's so hard. I know. Just try. Try not to think about anything. Don't think about anybody. Just breathe. Clear your head. Do something about you. Think of the good times. They smiled at you once. How did that feel? Did you almost cry because it's all you needed? Hug someone whether they need it or you need it. It's good even if no one needs it. You might need it later. You might need to remember and feel good. Do you remember your first kiss? How ecstatic. How juicy? How perfect was the moment? How beautiful? Were your sad moments comforted? Was it the right person? Do you know what I mean? Go. Make someone's day. Hug someone. A stranger is okay. If you know martial arts and you know you're able to use them, even better if you really have to. Just hug someone. Make someone smile in some way. Maybe you'll smile. Why can't you? Are you too busy? Wait. Too busy to make someone smile? Then are you evil? It could be easy though to make someone's life seem better. Just tell them to have a good day. Love them as you'd actually like to be loved. Smile. Calm down. Drink some tea. Smile. Drink in the air. Make some bread. Smoke some hookah or whatever really makes you comfortable. Just wait. Hear the silence. Love laughter. Pray for everyone. Pray for children.

Who Could I Love?

When I look at someone for a possible relationship, I also think about whether or not I could grow old with them. Not so much for the romantic thought but for really wanting to have that one that I know I could tell everything. My best friend that I love more than a friend. One that I can trust in tough situations. One able to help me no matter what, someone I know I will be of some help any time he needs it. That's why relationships should never be just a big feeling game that people play with each other. I want to be able to say I love you in the tough times. I have a hard time telling guys that I love them. I've been getting better but I don't want them thinking I love them in more than a friend way when that's all I can really offer at this stage of my life. But I need someone that is willing to wait. Someone that can not only grow physically "With me" but somewhat mentally, maybe spiritually. Someone who can know all about me but doesn't immediately go to my side as being right. I don't want to argue but I need someone that can help me think about things. I need someone that I'm able to learn from. I need someone that won't put me down but build me up with information that I don't understand. Maybe information I believe I know but I got a few things incorrect. I'd like someone I could discuss with. I'd like someone to watch the sunrise drink tea with. Maybe watch the sunset. Someone that likes writing letters. Someone that'd like to try to understand me. Could I find someone like that? Maybe. You don't know until it happens. Remember that. Hope for what isn't yet so it may be in the future. Be glad of your right now. You're gonna need it later.

Ugh...

I cry when I'm angry. It a way that I'm able to show emotion. I used to hit things. Now I act like a wimp and I cry. I hate it when people don't follow through with what they say they'll do. They wimp out for one excuse or another. It makes me angry. It also makes me angry when people are irresponsible sometimes. I can be irresponsible, of course. But when an adult goes and doesn't tell me if something is changed. Even if they wait till the very last minute, it angers me. I should have been told earlier. It's annoying when someone completely random knows more of what's going on than I do. I should know if I'm one of the important people in this circle, correct? Things do change though. I understand. It's just annoying when people don't say anything ever. I just wish I could be less of a wimp. I wish I could punch through a wall sometimes. I want to be strong. I need to be stronger. I need to calm down.

Questioning A Mind Less Traveled...

It is once that you have to believe in yourself. It is many times that you try to believe in others. You can't believe in anything until you believe in yourself. Is that actually correct? Is that common sense? Is that a question? To believe in yourself is what? To believe in yourself is how? To believe in yourself is why? Can you really, truly, believe in yourself rightly? Can you not believe in yourself and be the same? What should you believe in if not yourself? Who should you believe in? Do you believe in anything? Life after death? Or is it a nothingness that occurs? Are your questions to ever be answered? Why is it so complicated? Is it I that makes it complicated because of my feelings? What are my feelings? I can't even explain. Can you explain me to me? You could be good at it. You could always start and restart from the beginning until you really know. Until you find what you were looking for. What are you looking for? A hole in the heart stopper? A person? A thing? Why? Why do we look for that pain when we can avoid them? We accept the love we think we deserve...? What love do you think you deserve? You deserve more than you accept. You are more wonderful than you think. No one can tell you different without lying. Can you promise what you don't accept?

Lovely, Dreamy...

I spoke to him. I did! It was different. It was strange but pleasant. It made me smile. It keeps making me smile. We kept talking, laughing and awkwardly staring at each other. For us it wasn't awkward. I was thinking ' I've been missing this so much. I've been missing him more than I thought. He is so manly. So attractive!' And it seemed he was looking at me with the thoughts of 'She is so beautiful. I can't believe this is really happening! She's so cute. She makes my day.' At least, that's what he told me. It kept me awake. Giggling, seeing his face, trying to come up with things to talk about. It was beautiful. It was funny. It was cool! I wish it didn't have to end but sleeping is a part of life that helps us stay healthy. Oh well, there will always be a next time. He definitely did make my day.