The Not Friends

It's interesting. We almost define ourselves by how many friends we have. But most people one would consider a 'friend' aren't actual FRIENDS that will actually care if you're having trouble in your life. Sometimes you don't even find that out until you try to tell them about a problem and they move on to other things that are less depressing. It's hard when the reality hits you, it almost hits as hard as a freight train that you scream at to stop. It hurts to find out people you thought were friends were never really there for you. They just think you're cool because of your looks and personality but don't want to look to deep to see anything within. It's hard but it happens and there really isn't anything you can do about it. You can't change a person no matter how much you want to will it within your mind. Nothing is going to change unless the people around you want to change, and that is almost hopeless in most cases. So all you can do apparently, is let go and hope for the best for them. It may hurt, but it hurts more to let them use you and turn around and not listen to you.

A Hopeful Peace?

Fellow humans. I do understand that this society and media say only think of yourself, but thinking of others is cool too. I mean that doesn't mean you should pay for a random persons meal or anything but you should be even the slightest bit decent to people. It really doesn't matter who they are, what you think they deserve or what they think they deserve. Everyone deserves even on smile from someone, one random high five or hug because things are "rough all over" to quote my favourite author, S. E. Hinton. Your world isn't the biggest thing in existence. Not to say that you as a person are not as special and individual as everyone else. Just being courteous to others should be a priority instead of wanting to ruin someone's life because you're having a bad day. I know very well that it's hard to go through life sometimes, I suffer from depression and anxiety because it's in my genes. But you really don't need to be so selfish and decide the world revolves around you. This world and life is about teamwork. About helping each other out as a team. It's about more than the lust we decide we need. It's about more than whatever society and the media think is the proper way to go. It's about helping each other out because we need each other to get through life. I hope some day everyone realises this and decides to do something about it. Hopefully some day the world can be a bit more peaceful. Thank you and see you all on the other side.

Ask Yourself...

Sometimes I feel just so alone amidst a crowd of people. I can't explain it really. Other than most of the people I am around are in relationships. I do, indeed complain about this a lot but not settling is possibly one of the hardest things to do when everyone around you is so happily in some sort of relationship. But there aren't many trustworthy people that actually care and want to help carry a burden like this. I might sound arrogant but I know I carry burdens of many people that I probably shouldn't I shouldn't care as much as I do but I care too much about everyone. I get attached so easily and people take advantage of that all the time. Even people that I wouldn't expect that from. It weighs me down and hurts me in the end especially when I suddenly realise it when I should have realised it so long ago. I don't know why I have these feelings still, and I know I sounds like a teen as I possibly always have on this blog but I am unable to shake these feelings. I love my life for the most part. I enjoy what I do but sometimes being around the people I have to be around just drains my life and I have to relearn how to cope while being in this unfortunate situation. Some may be ignorant and say that I could just not be in this situation, that it's easy to get out of any unfortunate situation one might be in but those are usually the people that had the good life handed to them from the beginning, I've noticed. I do suck it up when I'm around people because, honestly, it's my job. I can't be making others around e feel bad just because I do. And I don't always feel like this, I have many moments that feel as though the world is at my feet to do my bidding. But there are those days where I feel so down and alone that I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Today, I just feel lost. I feel so depressed for no reason. And I realise it's hereditary, but that doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel worse because I see all these people suffering for good reasons and I'm just here complaining that I'm not the happiest person in the world and I don't know why. I can't actually help what I'm feeling but I can just not dwell on it. It's hard when I'm alone in real life. But, ya know, what I will try and will always try to do is just make others happy and not be able to even know what this feels like because that does help. It helps the other people smile and that is always a good thing whether their intent in my life is evil or not.