Big Brother Best Friend?

A lot of people think of God and as someone to be afriad of or constantly mad at. In my opinion He isn't either. Yes, He is very powerful but to me He more like a body builder. My meaning is He is very powerful but He is very loving and He can be a best friend/teddy bear. He'll try to help you with your decisions if you'd like. He'll leave you alone if you'd like. He loves you no matter what. He may not like what you do but He'll love you for you and not what you do. Doesn't that sound like a friend? Like a friend you've had for years? A best friend? Is that not your relationship with your best fried? If not, then are they truly your best friend? Best friends are basically family. At least they should be. Think of your relationships with people and see what's going on. Do you have true friends that you know you can rely on? Or are they people you know you really cannot trust? I'm not saying believe in God and everything will be better. God doesn't respond to things the way that most people, He responds in His own time which is one thing that most people don't like. He can be your best friend, though. He is just one that would like to be loved back. One that wants to help you through your troubles if you'd like Him to. He doesn't do anything you don't want Him to. Some people really forget who He is though and seem to judge others around because they think it'll help somehow. Of course it doesn't in the least. Don't judge them becuase of them. They are only lost in a different way. Everyone is really lost in one way or another. That's why God is there to help us. Don't take this as a Christian push. Take this as informational if anything. I just want anyone who's listening to hear truth. I'm still learning the truth as I grow and this is one thing I've learned. Thank you...

Hey You!

Did you see pain in my eyes with the love I have for you? Do you realise my conflicting thoughts going on at all times? One moment I'm telling myself that I'm ridiculous and I'm doing what's right. Then I think that it'd be right to be with you instead. I don't want to think that I can change you. I don't want you to change. I love you the way you are. I love you as a friend. Why do I feel any more for you? I don't know. You are just so wonderful. You're intelligent. Trustworthy. I know you'll tell me the truth. I love hanging out with you any time that I'm able. I always miss you when I don't see your face. Why? I don't even know. You don't believe in anything. I don't know if you even believe in yourself. I hope you do. You can do whatever you'd like to in this world. I believe in you. I see potential that tells me anything you do will be great. Anybody that tells you different is stupid. Or they don't know you which still makes them stupid because then they're assuming they know you. No one should assume anything. That is judging, by the way. Please. Don't judge people, it's no fun.

What Am Is My Thoughts?

My thoughts are always twisted and turned. They're always nonsense that some people can read some how. They're long usually and short only a few times. Why? They're like labrynths. Why would anyone want to travel through them? Are they interesting somehow? Is it my point of view? Do I make you angry when I speak? Maybe it's a very random happenstance that you even see my thoughts, my feelings. I don't look for agreement. I hope for acceptance as does everyone does in this world. Does agreement mean acceptance? To some it really does. I'm sorry but no matter what I will love you even if I don't agree with what you're doing. I don't care if you believe me but that is the total honest trutht. Don't push me to believing that you're right, either. It won't help. It never helps anyone. I will love you and hope for love in return. Not judgement. Judging is no fun. Try to just look at a person and think, "Hey! It's another human being!" And try to get to know them before you put a big ugly sticker on them.

Confused But Interesting Thoughts

My friends. Sit down. Relax. Breathe. See what you want to see. Cry about what you'd like to. Smile because today is another day. Close your eyes. Realise your life is something more than you thought. Imagine what you'd like the world to be. Don't be in the world that is right now. How easy is that for you? Apparently for most people it is quite easy to see the good more than the evil. Then evil comes and it's God's fault. How the hell does that work for you? Tell me how that makes sense. Enlighten me. Tell me how abortion is okay. Don't argue with me just tell me. Discuss instead of angrily arguing. That seems to be easier for people as well. Why? Can't we discuss instead? Discuss our differences? Discuss what we believe is right and listen to what we think is wrong. Don't argue if you really know what you believe is correct. Don't try to convince someone that what you believe in is right. If they don't want to believe in your truth then it won't work until they want to believe. If you put something in their face then they REALLY won't want to believe in your belief. I'm not even only talking about christianity. I'm talking about any religion. Or homosexuality. Or anything you can come up with to argue about. If you argue it just sounds stupid. You contradict yourself when you're angry. Calm down. Sit. Drink some tea. Maybe smoke something. Just relax. Know to listen as well as speak. Know to be kind even to those that you hate or dislike with a passion. Be kind to strangers. I'm not saying karma is totally correct and true but there is something to that. If you do good, good may come to you. You never know when. Good always comes in its own time. Always remember that it's always worse before it gets better. Always. That's just life. Just calm down. Don't freak out too much. Your life is impatience. Your life is small. It doesn't matter who you think you are. It doesn't matter what other people think you are or want you to be. It matters what you are to others when they least expect it. Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. Stop judging like you'd like to not be judged. Love like you'd like to be loved. Don't think so violently or impatiently. Calm down. Relax. Read. Listen to music. Think Why? When? How? Which? Where? And answer as you know or would like to believe. Go and be answered by another to compare. Don't get mad when you don't like the answer. You asked and you get. Say please when you want. Say thank you when you get. No matter what. Breathe. Smile at all. Believe in yourself. Don't be afraid to ask stupid questions, those aren't real. Your questions are beautiful and they are meant to be answered. Pray for children. Pray for the future. Pray for people. Just calm down. It's so hard. I know. Just try. Try not to think about anything. Don't think about anybody. Just breathe. Clear your head. Do something about you. Think of the good times. They smiled at you once. How did that feel? Did you almost cry because it's all you needed? Hug someone whether they need it or you need it. It's good even if no one needs it. You might need it later. You might need to remember and feel good. Do you remember your first kiss? How ecstatic. How juicy? How perfect was the moment? How beautiful? Were your sad moments comforted? Was it the right person? Do you know what I mean? Go. Make someone's day. Hug someone. A stranger is okay. If you know martial arts and you know you're able to use them, even better if you really have to. Just hug someone. Make someone smile in some way. Maybe you'll smile. Why can't you? Are you too busy? Wait. Too busy to make someone smile? Then are you evil? It could be easy though to make someone's life seem better. Just tell them to have a good day. Love them as you'd actually like to be loved. Smile. Calm down. Drink some tea. Smile. Drink in the air. Make some bread. Smoke some hookah or whatever really makes you comfortable. Just wait. Hear the silence. Love laughter. Pray for everyone. Pray for children.

Who Could I Love?

When I look at someone for a possible relationship, I also think about whether or not I could grow old with them. Not so much for the romantic thought but for really wanting to have that one that I know I could tell everything. My best friend that I love more than a friend. One that I can trust in tough situations. One able to help me no matter what, someone I know I will be of some help any time he needs it. That's why relationships should never be just a big feeling game that people play with each other. I want to be able to say I love you in the tough times. I have a hard time telling guys that I love them. I've been getting better but I don't want them thinking I love them in more than a friend way when that's all I can really offer at this stage of my life. But I need someone that is willing to wait. Someone that can not only grow physically "With me" but somewhat mentally, maybe spiritually. Someone who can know all about me but doesn't immediately go to my side as being right. I don't want to argue but I need someone that can help me think about things. I need someone that I'm able to learn from. I need someone that won't put me down but build me up with information that I don't understand. Maybe information I believe I know but I got a few things incorrect. I'd like someone I could discuss with. I'd like someone to watch the sunrise drink tea with. Maybe watch the sunset. Someone that likes writing letters. Someone that'd like to try to understand me. Could I find someone like that? Maybe. You don't know until it happens. Remember that. Hope for what isn't yet so it may be in the future. Be glad of your right now. You're gonna need it later.

Ugh...

I cry when I'm angry. It a way that I'm able to show emotion. I used to hit things. Now I act like a wimp and I cry. I hate it when people don't follow through with what they say they'll do. They wimp out for one excuse or another. It makes me angry. It also makes me angry when people are irresponsible sometimes. I can be irresponsible, of course. But when an adult goes and doesn't tell me if something is changed. Even if they wait till the very last minute, it angers me. I should have been told earlier. It's annoying when someone completely random knows more of what's going on than I do. I should know if I'm one of the important people in this circle, correct? Things do change though. I understand. It's just annoying when people don't say anything ever. I just wish I could be less of a wimp. I wish I could punch through a wall sometimes. I want to be strong. I need to be stronger. I need to calm down.

Questioning A Mind Less Traveled...

It is once that you have to believe in yourself. It is many times that you try to believe in others. You can't believe in anything until you believe in yourself. Is that actually correct? Is that common sense? Is that a question? To believe in yourself is what? To believe in yourself is how? To believe in yourself is why? Can you really, truly, believe in yourself rightly? Can you not believe in yourself and be the same? What should you believe in if not yourself? Who should you believe in? Do you believe in anything? Life after death? Or is it a nothingness that occurs? Are your questions to ever be answered? Why is it so complicated? Is it I that makes it complicated because of my feelings? What are my feelings? I can't even explain. Can you explain me to me? You could be good at it. You could always start and restart from the beginning until you really know. Until you find what you were looking for. What are you looking for? A hole in the heart stopper? A person? A thing? Why? Why do we look for that pain when we can avoid them? We accept the love we think we deserve...? What love do you think you deserve? You deserve more than you accept. You are more wonderful than you think. No one can tell you different without lying. Can you promise what you don't accept?

Lovely, Dreamy...

I spoke to him. I did! It was different. It was strange but pleasant. It made me smile. It keeps making me smile. We kept talking, laughing and awkwardly staring at each other. For us it wasn't awkward. I was thinking ' I've been missing this so much. I've been missing him more than I thought. He is so manly. So attractive!' And it seemed he was looking at me with the thoughts of 'She is so beautiful. I can't believe this is really happening! She's so cute. She makes my day.' At least, that's what he told me. It kept me awake. Giggling, seeing his face, trying to come up with things to talk about. It was beautiful. It was funny. It was cool! I wish it didn't have to end but sleeping is a part of life that helps us stay healthy. Oh well, there will always be a next time. He definitely did make my day.

The Differences, The Differences...

Did you know a lot or people don't know the difference between being in love and being in serious like. I think you have to know the person to really "be in love" with them. Of course there are those times when you know when its "the One" but that's different. You aren't in love with the person. You just know they are the one for you. And when you get to know each other, you realise more of how you were meant for each other and you can fall in love. Of course a sad thing about people nowadays is they fall into seriously like because of a persons appearance and they get married thinking "if this doesn't work I can just divorce and start over again." Divorce isn't so easy. Its heart breaking. Not only for me but for the people that go through with it. Its one of the saddest developments of this country. You think its easy and quick, which it isn't. Its slow and hard especially for the person that actually wants to get back together. People get divorced because the male was immature sometimes. That is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. Just grow together. Work things out! Some people divorce because they fight all the time and because of their differences. Seriously? You fight all the time because you differences? Work it out BECAUSE of your differences! Your differences will help you see things that the other can't. Just calmly tell your other what you're thinking may work and if they don't like that, come up with other solutions instead of fighting. Your other should do the same. Some people divorce because of kids. You should be staying together because of yours children! They need both mother and father to teach them life as you know so that when they try to tackle it they can be prepared. Don't spoil them though because then they'll grow up terribly. Just teach them what you know as right and wrong. There are so many reasons that people decide to get divorced, it makes me sick. Its a terrible thing to even think about. You become one flesh when you get married. Breaking that apart is tearing you away from your own flesh. Stop. It hurts. Just calm down and find a good solution. Stop being so American.

What Comes From My Heart

The point I must make with Athiests with the evil in the world is freedom of choice. "If God is so powerful...?" You know that question? Well its called freedom of choice that God gives everyone. He doesn't stop because someone is evil. Its everyone He gives freedom to. That's how you are able to not believe. That's how everyone is able to worship their own way. Its not because God is evil. He just lets us do what we want. If we want to know Him more then presents Himself as He is and let's you be as close as you want or need. If you ask for Him, He'll give you what you need and not what you want. Not even what you think you need. Its what you actually need. Because everyone is human and everyone has their own chance of getting somewhere that they think is right. Just because someone calls themselves a Christian doesn't make them a Christian. They don't put it in your face if they truly are what they say. They're only kind and respectful. They may not agree with you but they won't judge you. Real Christians don't judge you for who you've decided to be. They may not agree but that doesn't mean they won't accept you. Accepting and agreeing are very different things by the way. One is deciding to look past what you've decided to be and try to look at who you really are. The other is putting your stuff down to

Oh, The World...

I'm a romantic dear ladies and gentlemen. I imagine too much. I'm such a kid at heart sometimes but I also know something about being older. It sucks. I mean it's great that you get to do things and you're able to understand things and people and you notice more. But really, you grow up to being who you are and just about everyone around you is trying to change you in some little way. When you're younger you play and you're your real self. You are free. You are happily ignorant. When you're older life gets so much harder. You have to do certain things to be able to carry on in this useless place that some people hate. We try to keep love in us but it's so hard. Everyone makes it hard to love one another. And then they get in your face, scream at you, and decide you will be on their side. Why? Why do you do that? You expect me to go with you? I can think for myself, man. You can live your life, I won't try to change you like everyone else, but don't you dare try to change me. I won't go with it. Especially if it's in my face. I won't take that crap. You don't want me in your face? Well don't get in mine. I'll ask you something and get an answer and leave it at that. Don't ask a question that you don't want to know the answer to. If you really want to know my reaction to something in the world then ask and don't get mad when I'm not what you want. Calm down world. And go Watsky it up.

Story Idea...

And then what appeared to be a razor was actually a heart. A real, living heart that kept beating every ten seconds. How it looked like a razor, I haven't a clue but there it was. It looked so lonely. But it also looked connected. "Hello?" I had to ask whose it was. I heard gasps and whispered 'help' coming from the bathroom. I ran there and there he was. "Eugene?" I couldn't believe it. I pulled my phone out and called 911 hurriedly. My phone was about to die but it was Eugene. It was worth it. I told them his heart was on the floor and barely connected to him but he was gasping. They got this address and told me they would hurry. I closed my phone as it decided to die and I went to try and comfort him. I held him in mu arms and started to cry. "Who would do this to you?" And he pointed more with his face than his finger but I looked at the mirror and he had written something. Someones name. Connie? "It was Connie?" I prayed it wouldn't be who I thought. He nodded. "Connie Brynner?" He whispered a yes. I cried into his neck. Connie had been a good nurse friend. "Why?" I looked at him for answers. He shook his head then started to close his eyes. "Don't close your eyes! Eugene! You need to stay! I need you!" He nodded but kept his eyes closed. I heard a siren and started screaming. Connie came around the corner with her butcher knife and a big fat needle. Her eyes were suddenly different sizes. The ambulance people came in and saw the situation. They tackled Connie and got her in a position to not run. Connie kept smiling though. She also kept looking at Eugene and I. I had a feeling this wasn't over. We were dead. I just wanted to know why. Eugene did get in that ambulance and he did recover enough for me to visit but I had a feeling a new turn to life was at hand. I only had to wait a while. I was right...

Start As Friends... End As A Possibility!

I've noticed something about the world. Friendships stay while relationships leave. What if we a relationship with a good friend? What if it was a better friend that you always told things to anyway? How cool would that be? The thing is, people seem to think sometimes, that they have to change when that relationship happens. No. That should be where you're even more opened to talking about everything. You just have more than the friendly behavior you're used to. Its not too bad. Becoming friends with that someone is a good idea no matter what. If you've been friends forever, great! You've got a head start. If you've just met this person, you start by being friends and escalate slowly as you get to know one another. If you escalate quickly it could be terrible and end terribly and quickly. But slow and steady wins the race.

Dear Friend...

When you are told you're important to someone, you're a leaf that flies high and confidently and you feel so free and wonderful. How easily can that leaf be shattered and thrown to the ground by a rock? That rock being the slight insult that is really a pebble. That insult being something so small you shouldn't even second guess yourself. But you do. Why? You care too much of what people think of you. You aren't a terrible person because of this. Don't laugh at yourself because someone doesn't like you for who you really are. Who you really are matters more than what people think you should be. No, you can't dwell on the fact that not everyone won't like you. For me it's hard because everyone says everyone will like me and so I believe it. When something goes wrong with it I feel like nobody cares about me. It isn't true at all. It's hard to admit but I know that at least a few people care. No I can't bring myself to say a lot of people care. I don't believe that. I feel I can't. But how easy is it for you to crumble when you feel so high and mighty? Should we ever be high and mighty? Maybe proud of ourselves? Sure you can. Don't expect everything to be wonderful after one thing is terrific. Don't expect things to come from life or you will be disappointed. Just be a heavy neutral, steady, in the middle, and ready to go up or down. Not too high up or too low down. Keep steady and near to your neutral to be ready for whatever life may throw at you. A wonderful conversation followed by what? A brokoen leg somehow? A stranger tells you're a cute but when someonoe you know (Maybe a [secret] crush) tells you that you could look better or "What's wrong with your hair?" You get all wrapped up inside again. I can't make you come out, no one can. Only you, yourself and you. Come out of your little hole. Only when you're ready though, don't come out of your little hole too fast or you may scare yourself back. Maybe someone else will scare you back. Get yourself together and don't stay in that hole for too long but stay long enough to become stronger in yourself. I (Being whoever is actually closest to you) will promise to stay by whether you need it or not. If you need my reassurance I'll be there to keep you up. I will care for you whether you think you need it or not. Just know I will always think you're a very wonderful person. Just know I'll always think that way of you. I love you. It does not ever matter what someone says about you, the people that really care know the actual truth. I will love you forever. Not for who or what you are or may become. I love you for that wonderful person I see inside. You can't see it because you won't look. That's okay. I can see it for you right now. I hope and pray you may see it one day, some day soon. Also, it doesn't matter how many people love you. It's how people decide to show how they love you. Oh love. How complicated people make you out to be. But how uncomplicated you really are. Dearest friend. I do care about your thoughts and you are intelligent. You really are. I can see the light of wonderful that bursts from you. You have yet to notice. I... I really do love you friend. Know that, forever know that. Just be alright. Just be yourself. Don't take life too seriously. I do love you a lot. Sincerely, Me...

Life Is An Illusion

I think of life as somewhat of an illusion. Not saying that everything around us is fake. Just the sadness we find ourselves in. Maybe even the happiness. Everything may actually just be neutral but different versions of it. Dramatically high sometimes while others are frantically low. Happiness and sadness, they're only words. They're the feelings of a high and low neutral that we make a name and face to. Could that be what love is? Love is a different thing all together. It is no neutral. It is a true and meaningful feeling. It isn't only a feeling, either. Its also a state of being. It may be who you are. Are you the persona of love? It is unbiased. Love is patient, love is kind and also forgiving. It can be a feeling but it's also wrapped into how you act. Who you are and how you deal with things such as life. You show it with people, animals, and the universe.

Don't Be Biased...

Everyone should always keep an opened mind. Not so opened that anything can crawl in to rule over your mind and control your thoughts but opened enough so you can listen without interrupting and discern what is write or wrong. Research can always be helpful. Open minded research, but isn't that just research anyway? You can feel strongly for one thing being correct but if you bring it to the table of peers, they shall judge it the way they can find. If they're biased then don't even come close to bringing your ideas to them. They can't just be on your side or the other side. Its like in a court room. Find people that don't know a situation so they can tell you what they know so you can know the balance of decisions. Yours and the worlds. People shouldn't be biased because you are friends. They should take the correct route or thinking instead of decide you're right and they're wrong or you're wrong and they're correct. They should hear a story and decide what is actually best to keep the world rolling. Stop being biased, it never helps anyone.

He Needs You...

When you have something that you don't really want to give up but you ask God for help to give you strength that you don't actually want, He won't give anything to you until you're actually ready to receive what you've asked for. Don't expect things to happen because you ask without a whole heart. Understand that God wants the best for you. You just need to be ready for the best first. He can't give you the best if you're not really ready for it. Be ready for what he needs you for. Don't grumble about your wonderful but very hard job, its yours for a really good reason. Its like earning your cutie mark. You have to find what your talent or place is in this world for you to earn that cutie mark or place in the world that might get you excited. Keep working to find peace that you want. Try to calm yourself and just trust that God has his reasons for things. Really believe in His power that He can lead you to your finish line especially when its hardest. I love you guys. Thank you.

New People...

New chapters come with people. They have their own chapters to share. Will you listen to them? Chapters of another's life is the most exciting and maybe even the most tragic thing to hear sometimes. You should listen just like you should listen to the wind. Just keep calm and don't blink. Just stay and quietly listen, comment when you must but over all you should listen carefully. You may just learn something from someone else. Keep an open mind to be able to see into someone else's mind, it's really cool when you really can. New things may happen and discovery of life may occur. Make new friends every day, it's the most interesting thing to happen in the world. Goodnight.

What Are You Thinking... About Me?

Have you wondered who you are in someone else's eyes? A lot of times I've seen people ask. I'd like to know but I don't always ask. Who am I in your eyes though? As you read each though I process with typing it all out. Who do I appear to be to you? I'd love to know. Who could I possibly be to you? A friend? An offensive bitch that won't stop talking about stuff I may not totally understand? Maybe a little confused? Do you know? Am I a breath of fresh air that takes you away from life to ask you a question that can save a life? Who am I to you? It doesn't matter who I am to me right now, I know who I am and what I want. Who do I seem to be and what do I seem to want to you? Do you find my posts annoying and you'd never read them again or do you maybe enjoy some and hate others? What is seriously on your mind when you think of me? I am not an amazing person that everyone in the world loves. I'm awkward sometimes. Childish others. Maybe about snoody. I am a person though, I can think as you can see. I may not think as you think I should think but I think as I know how. I can't think as I don't know, nor can I think as I care to not know. I can only think as I am thinking and processing through the world, picking up the little information I may find. I am opened minded about lots of things but some things I know but I try not to yell in people's faces about. The information I put on this blog is always only my opinion and an inquiry to the world to see if I could be taught differently about some things that are out there and I am open minded with. I am a person after all. I am not perfect. I cannot be any more than I am. I can only be what I am unless something were to change me of course. I never feel change but people say I change. I am just me and I love you. No matter who you are or what you've done. I don't always agree with certain things but that never means that I don't love you. Thank you for reading my nonsense. Goodbye, have a good life my friends...

A Round About Love?

For you dear confused people. I must say I never really understood how anyone could get mad at God let alone stay mad at Him, or just not believe in Him. I mean I understand a little that people think "Well he made everything bad that's happening to me. He made these evil people." Well. He made people but he never made evil. He made free will. He let us think our own thoughts instead of controling us, which He could do, but He won't. He made people to love and to hope that they'd love Him back. He loves us too much to leave us. Human beings just have decided to leave Him. He's sad but He won't force anyone to do anything, He'll just be patient with us and wait until we're ready for Him. Can you say that about humans? None that I know. Human beings are impatient. They also cannot create wonderful things such as trees. He made that lovely individual which sits right next to you. He doesn't create evil but good. He doesn't create death but life. Eternal life in fact. I know He is there because I feel Him everywhere. I see His work and I stay amazed. His world he created for us to explore like ferrets, sniffing again and again around the same things. Testing to see if anything changes for one reason or another. One reason people don't believe in God is because they pretend to try and maybe pray or something of that sort and they don't get what they want when they want it. That's because you really need to want it, really. People expect magic but God doesn't work that way. Just like the Lorax. Another reason why people don't believe is because they apparently think that you have to be tied down to rules in order to be a christian. Very much not true. You mostly just need to love Him. You know how you like the feeling of being loved? He likes it too. He wants you to grow with Him in knowing Him and maybe laughing with Him. He's also always there to talk to for whatever is wrong with your life. He stands by watching when you have bad times, He wants to comfort you. He praises you when you are successful, He's always very proud of you. You may not know it or feel it but He loves you too much. Imagine a person being shy about asking someone out. God doesn't have doubts, He knows how much He loves you and will always love you. But He also doesn't shout His love in your face. He loves you in whatever situation you're in. No matter what people tell you, He loves you. Whether you love Him or hate Him, He'll love you to the end. I will love you as I can only as a humble human being. Thank you for reading. Goodnight. <3

Hello

I could be sad for so many reasons. I could be so depressed, I'd already be gone by now. I could leave and never come back because nothing else really matters to me. I need to stay. I don't know why but I know I need to sty here. People need to be taken care of even when they believe they can take of things. One person isn't able to take care of everything. They need some sort of wingman. You need help with lots of things. Maybe you don't feel all that happy for whatever. You're not gonna suddenly be happy by yourself. You have some help from somewhere and someone. Maybe it's a dog. Maybe its a friend that never talks to you and suddenly says hi. Maybe it's a secret crush that says hi when everything else is falling down. Those are the moments I try to wait for. It's those moments that save you, wait for that. For youself find something better otherwise you'll be very missed by the people you'd least expect. Find a way to calm your feelings for a bit. Please stay though. I love you...

I Can't

It is hard to be a woman. It is really hard to just be a human being. Always sprouting ideas that we think everyone wants to hear when really no one cares. People may act like they care but do they really? Not usually, I don't think. Some people can be really good listeners though they don't care for what you're saying. It's sometimes annoying to be yourself really. People just don't seem to care to know or understand you. The ones that do care are always apologized to and they smile and shake their heads "It's okay!" Because they really care about everything and everyone even when it seems they don't care for the ones closest to them. They do care for everyone, the closer ones just get the bad end of the stick. They see everything and decide what they are seeing may be bad. Maybe they decide you're the sweetest to everyone but them. But you sometimes are pretty sweet. You try but aren't noticed. Maybe you're someone everyone knows is a jerk and you don't know nor care to change. But you're always someone that thinks of new things to say and things to do even when you don't do anything or really speak. Speak and you may be heard. Either by me or by different friends that you know care. I will care. I will listen. No what ifs. Just speak. I know at least one person will listen. Try it and see what happens.

You don't know what you're really capable until something happens. When someone hurts you, what do you do? You could think "Oh well I can beat some ass when I need to." But what if you really get scared? You might need someone else to do the beating for you. But if you really are what you may think you are then terrific, it'll come in handy. Nothing will be known until something really happens. You are capable of so much but you are a person, you are panicy. You can't always think clearly though you don't care to anyway. Especially when you think youo're in love. Your feelings last how long? Not long ever at all. Maybe a few years and then you decide everything that person does is annoying. They don't suddenly change themselves to annoy you. You're just used to things and sometimes people's lives change inito something greater. Not greater than you, maybe more successful to keep you people together. Just stick around for more than the feeling, it gets better after those terrible fights. You learn and grow as your live entwine inito something unstoppable for anyone. It's unbelievable how some people can stop so easily after just a few years. Dating has a purpose more than the having someone there to hold your hand. It's partially getting to know someone and learning to cope. Don't give up so easily on them. Who you chose long ago is still your right now, that is how it should forever be. Just learn to be more agreeable as you get older and as things get worse in this world. Just be happy with what you got. because its a whole awful lot more than some people.

Relationships?

I almost feel like no one should be in a relationship at least until after school. People have decided they need to be in a relationship no matter what and so they get with the wrong person. 1St, people shouldn't date until at least 18 unless you are truly logical and you aren't the person that thinks your first kiss should be immediately. Then maybe 16 is fine butvno age lower. 2nd if you're done with school, you've possibly figured out your life at least a little and maybe you know yourself more. 3rd people should be happy in themselves to truly be happy with another, no one these days is happy with themselves ever so until you can find a way, I suggest waiting a bit. 4th, if youre looking to marry someone, really think about how ready you are before you make such a decision for.someone else. 5th I am not trying to rule or ruin lives. These are honestly my thoughts and opinions I develop as I see the world around me crumble with broken dreams and relationships.

Something Personal...?

I do not believe in homophobia, I think it's a stupid way of calling people haters. I also don't believe in gay marriage, it is wrong and I believe everyone knows it. I mean, you can't plug a lamp into a lamp! But you'd sure like to try. What everyone calls love these days is mostly just lust (a feeling for the moment) which leaves people devastated at the end whether hetero or homosexual. We develop a certain feeling for one person and sometimes it does work (as in they both have a feeling for each other other than only wanting sex) but that isn't usually the case. This wonderful but short lived feeling sometimes ends in a cheat or a heart break in some way for either girl or boy because that good feeling does go away at some point. Lust is lust no matter how you look at it. Love, true love, is something more than a feeling. It has trust in there that keeps you together. Trust that you won't leave for someone else to get a feeling when you're not getting what you want from your significant other. Commitment is another part of love. Commitment to that one that you truly know you love. You don't know it from feelings, you know from actions. I must say that I am not a hater but I do not agree with the gay argument. There is a reason it was looked down upon in much earlier years. But now we decide everything is love? We say "Don't judge" and guess who is judging, everyone is. You judge the way I look or anyone around you. You, the society, decides what people are and so they are pressured to play a certain part in this stupid game you play with minds. Why do you kick that girl around and not expect her to commit suicide? You seriously think that yelling at her and calling her names will make her want to live in this cruel world? If you don't want people to "judge" you then stop judging other people. Just like you shouldn't decide all Christians are the same. Of course some think they are perfect and anyone different will go to hell. Don't judge them, just decide not to hear those lies. You are you and no one should change you especially people close to you. If they feel the need to change you, maybe they aren't actually close. The society that tells you whatever is fine, they're liars. They try and shape you by pressure? Yes well, just don't listen to them. Maybe you were a really sweet girl? You changed because society and now you're grumpy? Maybe you were a really handsome boy that made everyone smile but now you're terribly down because of everything? What is the world coming to with it being cruel and so pressuring? Why do we allow such things? Can't we live our lives without them trying to control us? Maybe. I am no society, I am only one person only speaking my mind like people say I can. But do I really have freedom of speech? Yes, only if I keep my real opinions about abortion and such to myself, yes that works out well. Why do you even think that? There is no freedom of speech unless you agree with media. If you agree that sex is great before marriage, gay marriage is terrific, abortion is only getting rid of dead skin and divorce is whatever, it happens everyday so why not? Well this is just sad to think that you believe it really is right. It's hurtful. You can't see hurt until things have ended. Watch things end despicably...

Realisation?

Do you ever realise that you don't actually want to do something you've imagined in your life? Such as that simple yet beautiful kiss. Ive never been kissed and I realise that I don't want to until I really am married. Certain people I've felt I certainly could have kissed but then that one man that told me I won't have a special person in my life because I won't give a simple kiss to him made me realise how much I want to wait. You kind of plan something in life and it doesn't become real until it is tested. Plan things sincerely though, see where it takes you to maybe not be so easily swayed.

Dreamy Devistations

The whisper of your last words to me... they were sweet as honey but harsh and hot like terrible tea. They only hurt because of the sadness after, the part where you leave me to go after something or someone else. I know they must be so much better than me for you... they must make you so much happier than I could have ever made you. That wonderful person is so beautiful, they don't know their luck because they have you when I may be alone. Its me though. I'm the reason I'm alone. I cannot blame anyone else. My love is forrbidden in my eyes. I don't know how I could let you go... twice. You were the one I'd talk to and now you have someone else. You have your own problems so you don't need me. Somehow your problems will be solved I'm sure. I just cant completely let go. I'm not able to for some reason. You weren't just someone I have those feelings for, you were a friend that could cheer me up in a second. Something I've lost. Something I may never gain again. Something I wish to find maybe in another. You will always be in my heart and so that song does go.

Jerk?

How can a man be a jerk? Such a jerk to try and hurt you? To not respect women for who they are but for what they look like? Whether they have the biggest boobs or not? Why does it matter so much to a man? Can't just the happiness of one woman make him happy? No, it must be the looks and the body? Could you just have a heart? Could you really just not be a jerk because you can't have what you want because you're mean and no one really wants to give you what you want? You make a girl want to die. You make a girl just hate herself or maybe the world, maybe she won't care anymore. You want her to die? You want her to leave the world cuz you don't get everything you want? No. You will not get this. This is a girls time to get back at you. SLAP YOU DOWN and hopefully knock sense into you. You don't need what you want. You need respect kick into your head and everywhere else. Just be happy you're alive to see beauties and don't be a jerk to people you obviously can't have. Find someone that's really worth everything. Not only has something you've wanted from a girl, she needs to have sense and courage and the awesomeness you can't find in yourself. Respect a woman at least once a day.

How Will Your Day End?

Your day is full. Either of lazing around or of busying around with friends or errands, your day always ends somehow. Days end in the wonderful night with that beautiful Moon. Does it end happy? Possibly sad or mad? But why will it end sad or mad? Because that man you have as yours, he decided to share himself? Because a friend has decided to end a wonderful friendship to leave you dying in a corner to be picked up by some possible strange that may be peaceful? Maybe it's as simple as something of yours that you favoured over another thing but a family or friend snatched it from you? Could we find something to be happy before the day really ends? What could happen? What if we really did forgive and forget. Whether to the person or yourself, maybe even both. Lay down your worries and troubles. Let someone else worry about them, worrying is not something you should be doing, it hurts sometimes. Lay it down, relax your guard of pride to be a jolly soul known to people you've known forever and the ones more recent. It makes life at least a little bit brighter for you and everyone else...

What To Do?

What do you think when you see someone you have special feelings for with someone else, laughing and joking? Have you ever said to yourself, "They're cheating on me!" then remembered you aren't actually with that wonderful person? Isn't that just the worst? You remember that that person isn't yours... You realise maybe that isn't meant to be though you can't help but have those feelings because that person is just so amazing. Maybe it's that wonderful friend that has those very very deep blue eyes that you can almost not tear your eyes from. Maybe they have wonderful brown eyes that keep laughing just to be jolly. Maybe it's green or hazel eyes that are just magnificent in the sunlight. Maybe each eye is a different colour and you just love the different colours so when you look into each eye, you see something different and new. What ever the eyes, you can't stop staring at them sometimes. They're windows into the soul. Maybe they'll tell you something you feel you need to know, you don't want to wait any longer do you? But then you feel like you saw something but then you doubt yourself. Maybe you hear something but you must doubt it with the tiny bit of hope deep in you that gets torn down by the truth if it isn't exactly what you want to hear? It's hard to believe how hurt you feel just by knowing that one person you like so much just doesn't back. You just go on and hope your feelings go though it doesn't work until you find someone... else. Sometimes that can help. Sometimes it's an even better situation, right? You may say that out loud, it can be true but it isn't always total and complete truth...

Little Feelings...?

Have you ever realised that you actually have feelings for someone the next time you see them? You suddenly feel an attraction after telling them no? Maybe it's just nothing but you see em and you just can't believe how wrong your mind was? You see their wonderful face and wish you had maybe waited to answer. You feel differently for someone in different situations, seriously. You may love someone one minute and feel it but then the next you don't because suddenly they're not next to you or maybe they're around you too often. At the end of that, when you can't see them automatically then you miss being around them again. You don't realise yourself until you are put into different situations it appears. Reading isn't believing, experiencing is. Whether you want to or not. Maybe you feel a sudden urge to smile when you're around certain people because you have a certain feeling you didn't know could exist when around certain people. But that doesn't make a difference for them. Maybe they've moved on when you have suddenly found this like or love. Maybe they've only partially moved on... You can either hope or be happy they found someone when they did instead of waiting around for you. If you were meant to be, either you'll find the moment or they'll come around again.

Questions To Be Answered By Him.....

Could I? Could I even be the one for any such as you? Should I really be yours by only an answer for you to jump for joy? What if the real correct answer is really no? I don't want it to be, I want you more I think.... But what do I need? But does it matter what I really need? Couldn't you be mine and let us only be happy together? Do I need something else? But you are so wonderful to me... You are such a star in this dark world. You are what I may want to be, what I want to love. You are my star that drags me out of the dirt. You are my Falcor to drag me from that swamp of despair, that evil Nothing to be clamping its jaws around my ankle. You are my health, the happiness and light that helps me shine. You're what keeps me smiling each day, just the hope that you may talk to me, the hope that you may be mine... but should I be hoping? Is it real that you may be mine? Is your heart mine to keep forever, to never let go? To refresh and keep it safe until the dying day? Shall I really ever see you again? Are you real? Are you really a person? Are you an alien to take me from this cruel world so we might be happy? Could this be so? Shall we have no doubt of being happy together instead of being sad and apart from one another? Will I see you again? Your heart, your mind, your whole being is the reason I can be happy. But where are you if you aren't right here by my side? Shall I sleep again without seeing you face? Without feeling an embrace? Without a touch to the lips...? All it really comes down to. All that you will know. All that really matters is... I love you, I do.

Comforting Friends?

Almost no matter what the problem really is, seeing a good friend or just someone you love somehow crying is the worst and most crushing thing to see. You only know you'll see to it that you may help them in some way. Either it is "taking care of" that person that seemed to destroy that happiness or you only comfort them, which is a lot better than nothing. You can at least hold them and see if you can do anything else for them, If it's the only thing you can do then do it the best you can. It may be the one thing to cheer them up completely and that can make your day. Start with a hug in any case and go from there. If they want to talk about it, they can start, don't rush them into something they definitely don't want. If they'd rather not talk about it then that is Okay. It is them that you're trying to comfort, not yourself. Keep their happiness in mind.

Change is Inevitable

Change is inevitable. Something that must happen in ways that we may never imagine. Depending on who you are, it may be hard to accept this change that comes to you in waves or in tiny little things like in your bath tub. Everyone may accept things differently, you can't make people accept things the way you'd like them to. Something inevitable doesn't mean it isn't surprising or somewhat hurtful. It only means it's there whether we look or not. It's something we may not want to see. Maybe we are totally oblivious to this change. Maybe it was always there to begin with but then popped up in your face unexpectedly though maybe you saw it coming? Sometimes you just can't see things come until they're in your face and blaring noise to you. Sometimes you may ignore the change and go the one way you're comfortable with when you didn't know the reality. Is it a good idea? I don't think usually. Watchfulness is good for not liking surprising facts. Sometimes it's hard when you can't see it when you really are trying. Just try as hard as you can to discover what you need...

Keep With Love

We always call it love, that feeling deep inside. Maybe we'd like to shout to the world our glorious feelings but is it only that feeling that keeps you happy? Is it truly love? It may very well be truly love but love isn't only thef feeling you get when you're around that certain person. Its the commitment you feel. Not like its chains around you to keep you from wandering but commitment that makes you happy that you're alive and with this special person. You understand, right? You can't be falling in love with everyone, your heart gets messed up and broken until you feel you cannot feel a thing and you are the starting of the zombie apocalypse. You need to be content with one human being, you can't have all of them because they aren't all for you. Each person has their significant other. If you haven't found yours yet then good luck! Otherwise, be happy with what you have some people don't even have that much...

Just Calm Down and Talk Up

HEY! What are you doing? Are you mad at someone? Are you not talking to your boyfriend because you believe he should already know what you're mad or sad about? Did you know guys a are really oblivious? Sometimes they do catch things but not always. All you need to do is freaking talk about it! Don't yell at each other about it. If you actually loved each other you'd talk things out instead of just getting mad because maybe your lover or beloved seriously doesn't get things quick enough for you. Maybe they seriously don't figure things out and don't have that quick reflex of emotion as you do. You just need to calm down and just remember patience. You stay longer if you really want to make things work out which one way is telling that significant other your problems instead of keeping them shut up inside and making everyone burn in hell for it because you think they should know your mind. They are not mind readers. You don't need to be in hell or put anyone else there if you'd just calm down and speak to someone that really seems to care. Some people aren't good at looking like they care when they care deeply though, like me. Maybe they love you and you don't feel like they do because they don't seem thrilled at everything or as in love as they really are. They have a true heart at least, realise that. The true heart is better than anything that anyone could say. They have true feelings and seriously care and will not leave you. That's what actually matters. Those bad boys that say they love you and cheat on you with every girl in the world, you always go for them because they give you a certain feeling. No. You need the true feeling and thoughts. It's a deeper feeling that you can sometimes tell. You may ask about it, you might doubt it but in yourself you really do know how the feel. They do give you affection, only they right amount. Not too much, not too little, just right. They are as sweet as they can be. You can't make them different. They are already that wonderful them that knows how to do what they do the way they can do it. Pick correctly once and be forever grateful.

What is...?

I am only a leaf subject to the things of this world. I fly in the wind, resting for moments before I may be picked up again. But have I a home ever in this world? Shall I always fly around? Or would it rather be the two choices: In the garbage or disintegrated into nothingness at the end of me? Shall I be nothing for no one? Maybe everything for at least one person? I can make people cry but can I make them laugh? Will I always be the same person that really cares but doesn't know how to show it? Shall I be sweet and loving or mean and despicable as an elderly woman? Shall I come crashing down from a ceiling or rise from the ground? Shall I be the Time Lord I'd like to be? Shall David Tennant return as his rightful roll of the Doctor? Shall books be made about me? Shall I be forever and very much forgotten to the world when I pass from this life to the next? Will someone embrace my will and understanding in certain things or will only me and my face be remembered? Will my thoughts be transferred into what the world may be though it may be hurtful? What can thoughts do but make believe stress around you? Can you be what you want? You can always try. There is always hope in the hopeless, especially when you think there is nothing for you or anything around you. Just be happy with this life keep living your wonderful or dreary life to the best of your ability. Just... Try to be happy.

You may feel like you're on top of the world some day but really you're on the bottom rung of your journey to greatness. If you think nothing of yourself but always others then you may be higher than you think. Of course, if you think that you're worthless that is quite selfish because you're still thinking of yourself. You may wish to think that maybe you will be higher in your intelligence if thinking you're of good use to all while in reality everybody may hate you. Although you may have great skills people don't really see what you may accomplish. Only think that you are here for a reason. Know this and see that you are a special person. Be glad that you could experience the world and discover what you may become here in what little or much time you have here.

Hugs.. ?

Hugs. They are your strength when you need something to hold on to. Hugs. They're your comfort and happiness when you need something to look forward to. Depending on who gives you a hug, it's the best thing that special person could give you. Sometimes you can't ask for anything and you get much by giving or receiving a hug. It's certainty that things will be alright between you and another. It's a special moment when you're crying when that one person decides to give you that needed push in the right direction. That courage that you get, you feel like you can do anything. For some people maybe it's awkward for too long, but those are really the best. I mean even if it's only for minutes, it doesn't matter, they feel just wonderful and you get a warm feeling inside. Happiness goes through you and you just can't help but jump for joy whether it be in your soul or in real life. It's like sugar energizing you. Sometimes it becomes one hundred times better if you get that kiss along with it. This hasn't happened to me but it looks wonderful and seems like it'd make things even better. Even if it's just the simplest kiss. The smallest moment can always be very wonderful. Be thankful for those small moments anyway, for those you need to remember for they can be the best moments of your life.

Don't Worry...

Could you worry so much that you worry your fears into reality? I mean if you worry too much about losing someone, will it happen? It seems to be working so far, it's one of the most terrible things in life. Just live life and don't be worrisome such as I am. It gives trouble. Don't be overly cautious, you might miss something. Be that awesome one you are. Be stunning and accept it. Be incredible with everything and do those things you dream. It may take work, but most things do. You can do what you dream. I really believe you can. You can do anything you'd really like to do. If it's really within your power to act, then do so. If it isn't so perverted, then do it. Be happy and do what you need. Don't do what you want all the time but let those times be cherished. Be what you need for people that you love. Do what you want when it's the most opportune moment. Go live and be happy while making people happy also.

Only Know

Could someone that can see everything around them, be so blind when it comes to friends or just people in general around them? Especially the ones you've been close to for several years? Could you be so insensitive? You only think of yourself? What is this world to you, a piece of cake? To go wandering around laughing at people as if they are insignificant and you are the big dog of any operation. Do you feel such pride in your arrogance that you fail to see what may be leaving around you? You don't have to feel lowly and not sure as I do. But don't be so arrogant. Don't be the one that annoys everyone because you have decided you know everything. Don't pretend to know everything. Only know the things that are precious. Only know the people that you were close to. Only know That you are a precious human being. You are wonderful in how you were made. Don't just push it in people's faces. Don't decide you are the best while others are suffering either inside or outside. Don't put fear out and make it look like happiness. Make happiness and show it in love to everyone around you. Friends are precious. Good friends are hard to find but when you find them, don't take them for granted, they may decide to leave. Love them for that precious time you have with them for the times ahead as their loyalty may be tested. Don't assume that someone will be there for you but if you need someone to fall back on, try trusting and see what works. Is no one trustworthy? No one you've met then. But keep searching. Don't search for what you'd LIKE, search for what you NEED and not what you think you need. But be happy with yourself at least a little bit first and find someone that can help whether it be a parent or sibling or really close friend or maybe spouse. Be happy with what you have now, you may not always have it. Only know I am a friend to everyone.

The Difference of Loves?

I believe a girl should never play "hard to get" but they shouldn't be desperate. They should wait for the man to get there. The man needs to be that guy that takes the step forward. The man needs to decide if this person really is right or if she's been used too much. Maybe she's been used and really needs someone to pull her out of the muck she got herself in? Well, let's see. Help her out. If she needs it she might cry out in different ways. Either she'll turn away and say "No, it's okay." Which means "Please just hold me." Or maybe "Please ask again." In this case do both and see what happens. Girls make no sense whatsoever but they do need that love from you. They need to know at all time that you love them as much as you say. Some guys are the same way. But this is how girls are made. Men are made to be tough and loving like a teddy bear. Able to beat you up if you need it but so very loving because they know they can beat you up. Be very protective, not overly protective, over your loved one. Girls, don't be mad if they're just talking to another girl, it isn't wrong. Just be with him if he is, don't scowl at him because he's laugh at something she said, laugh along because maybe it really is funny. Don't be all stuck up and like Rihanna's song "Only Girl In The World". He should treat you with respect as he should all girls, but you being the special one, he might just treat you with more kindness. NEVER pull the "If you loved me you'd do this" and decide you'll get away with it. It doesn't work that way. If they love you they'll do what you need not what you want. Just love each other, ok?

What of Happiness?

What is something happy? Do you have something yet, or shall I wait for a bit longer? You have it? Okay, now imagine all the wonderful things that could happen with that happy thing whether it be a person, place or thing. Now put it down, does it spin out of control without you or does it not need your help? Maybe it only needs a little bit of your help? Will you try to give it more than it needs? But what if that destroys it? STOP! You need not do too much for it, it may not like it! Maybe it's a person and it just needs love? Give them a hug, a hug that THEY need, not you. If it's a long hug, fantastic. If it's a short hug, squeeze as though it were to go on forever. Does your happy thing, place or person just leave when you put it down like it's a Mii? Or does it long for more of you and your wonderful grace? If it wants to leave, don't feel bad, things and people come back. It could be in your imagination but that is better than nothing, right? Don't doubt yourself, friend. It's okay, your ideas don't need to be perfect, you're only human. What we strive for is to become better people, right? I'd like to be a better person. I mean, you can't be better at something without failing at something at least once. Is a boy or man (Or girl or woman) that, at first loved the idea of being in a relationship with you but then decided it wasn't the right thing or you're not good enough or they found someone else? If they say you aren't good enough then find me so I can kick them because that is never true. You are always good enough for anyone, you just can't be too rough or fast or anything. You just need to go whatever speed that special one is going so you can move on together instead of separately. Is he/she pulling you back? Maybe you do need to slow down. Can you for that person that you've decided to be with or will you be too focused on yourself? Just calm it down and see what happens.

Stop. Rewind... Possibility?

Could we pause? Maybe rewind a bit from this reality that we might call happiness? What would we do with this rewound information that now is in our heads. We know what's going to happen next, will we toy with it before we do something productive? Would we leave things as they are or maybe try and make the world better in small ways. I mean we should be doing the latter anyway as we're here to help and not to hurt. But what if we rewound a bad memory and made it good. Telling a friend something then rewinding because it looks like that friend got hurt. But then we'd get no real learning experience, would we? It hurts to be in this world but, dear friends, that's how it will always be until we learn to really live with ourselves and others.

Life for just anyone could be greater than anyone could expect. This stupid government decides to try and 'take care' of everything that trouble us. The only thing is they're so deep in debt that they can't control it. What's that verse? "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Shall we stay with this example of this government or be stronger and better? Shall we try and help the government? Well, you can ALWAYS try but you never know whether or not you'll succeed. Just do what your life depends on, do nothing completely stupid. Maybe a little stupid will suffice, but man, don't go with the flow.

Your Other Half?

Depending on who you pick, your journey could be the loneliest thing. It might be the worst experience of your life. It could also be the best if you and your partner decide to actually work together as a team instead of as two separate people. Lots of wonderful things could happen if you just worked together. If you 'don't feel like it' or something, then you don't deserve to be in a relationship. A relationship is never about one person. It's about what both think and feel and what you guys are gonna do about it. If you can't or won't work one thing out, then how do you expect to work anything out? You have to learn how to work everything out. You need to learn how to listen to each other. You have to learn to actually be willing to think about what your partner is saying and maybe understand where they're coming from, maybe you should apply those concerns to your sad life. Maybe you have the happiest life. That is just brilliant but problems always come, they just haven't got to you yet, because everyone has the crazy idea that in this society, you are 'free' to do what you want no matter what. NO. I don't care what people tell you, it isn't true. I mean you can try but doing what you want may be different than what your other half may want to do. This is mostly the case and, this creates problems if you decide your way is only right. Be more flexible in your thoughts and ideas. Be happier. See what really works.

Caring?

Isnt it just interesting how someone can change their dearest little thoughts of you because of a little thing you might have done? I shaved all my hair off. Does that really show a sign of beauty in the heart? Or is it something some people recognise as kindness? Could we see things like they should be? Do we see them as we want them to be? Could we calm down with what excites us for no reason? Its a sad sing from the heart that pounds with caring that no one notices until it's very much too late. But could we notice too much and give them that deserves it little bits of care and kindness for what thy may be doing to keep something or someone alive? Maybe flowers to those that care enough to love all around? But also, can you be too caring? Maybe too loving to those that care nothing of what they think of as filth. Be strong if you are that caring person, everything gets worse before it ever gets better.

Being there in that place you want to be could be so lonely. In some cases we are desperate though. Don't be that desperate. Desperation leads to worse things in the end. Yes finding things we really need isn't very easy. But most things call for working on them anyway. Work on them in a way that you can keep up with people and such but able to be focused. Work things out with yourself first though and then with the people around you. It makes some things either easier or just better. I can't tell you what happens because nothing has really happened with me but you know what? There will be a light at the end of the tunnel and it will get better if you try.

Can it be that we may be ignoring what means really anything and going along to join those things that we know mean nothing? Can we stop before we go? Could you please just stay and be what you need rather than what you want? COuld you keep the world spinning for those certain wonderful people in your life? But do you ignore people you think are scary or just strange in some way or in general? Can't you just accept people for who they are? Everyone is a person no matter how you may think they are by first glance. Apparently I see people totally differently and so I really don't see why everyone can look at a person and think "They look cool! I would just love to be their friend!" Instead of looking at them in disgust. Those people you decide to put down? They might not be here tomorrow. You don't know until it happens, are you going to wait until you find out a friend of yours is someone you could have saved? Or are you going to get off your ass and go out to save people. It could just be family or friends. But it could be a certain generation of people that needed a push in one direction and you can push them to the right instead of the left. You can! Don't give me the "But I'm just one person" crap. You are a person and that is precisely why you should encourage all instead of discourage so everyone can get along in life. Maybe get along better than how they were getting along in the real world before. Every person needs one push, they may go either way and it may depend on you. Will you Help?

Patience, A Beautiful Thing

Patience. One beautiful yet very hard, sharp and hurtful word. One thigh which I lack yet I strive for to be that person that I'd rather be to help with everything and everyone. What do I do to attain such a wonderful and very much wanted thing? May it be through prayer. May it be through this suffering. May it continue to rule a life and wiggle through to be perfected into me. May it live happyliy and continue to carry such loving grace to all no matter what, whether people thinka person is deserving. Its not your choice. You don't rule everyone. You keep your body. Your thoughts, your actions to you and avoid throwing you into someone else.

Accents?

I don't understand why anyone would make fun of anyone with an accent. Maybe it's weird to one such person as a child but it should sound lovely also. It makes no sense. Like british accents. They are so beautiful and graceful. Hispanic accents, so lovely. WHy would you make fun of such a glorious thing as an accent? Why would a child criticise? Why would that make sense when the world is made up of these wonderfully beautiful people?

Rather than think of the outward appearance, men and women should look at more than the outward and see the inward that is so very special. People shouldn't developed feelings because of the way someone looks. If that's one reason, which it will be, it should be one of the last reasons rather than the first or second. Something that a woman or man believes strongly or something you think is the best about them is the first. If it's the looks then maybe you just shouldn't be trying to find someone until you find some depth in yourself and be a deep sea diver instead of a shallow person. I mean, when has 'being shallow' ever been a good thing? Its loving someone because they wear make up? It's loving someone because they brush their hair? What crap is this? That is no love. That is just utter stupidity and crap. If you want to believe it, I'm not judging you, no way! Its just not a safe way to live with someone. Deciding if the world is ready for your real person. No, you decide when you are ready for anything. Be careful dear friends. There are so many shallow waters but if you walk a bit longer, you'll find that ocean.

Experience?

We all grow up in something. Sometimes its knowledge, it could be in childhood. Your knowledge could be any number of things in the world. How to get money, how to make toys or food, or love. You may have knowledge but real knowledge comes with experience. Like real love or worldly love, you don't know what it is until you really experience it. Learning how to get money is one skill many people seem to have just like talking, most people are good at it. Some people cry about the fact that they aren't able to speak to people in a way correct to other people. They don't understand how this is really possible and rather impossible for them. But that's how we fit in the world by being those different people better at different things because we experience things in different ways. Its better and in some ways harder to deal with but it seems we always pull through. No you don't need to be that one that's good at everything. Let your friend or relative do that. You be the best you because that helps push you to being better anything.

Stereotyping

Stereotyping is is terrible. You look at someone and decide they're one thing when they may be another. Maybe that guy on the motorcycle is really a writer just making it through. Maybe that girl walking around being girly is really someone that's just more boyish on the inside, maybe she enjoys hanging around guys and hanging out with them. Maybe that man sitting on the bench reading a newspaper is someone who actually enjoys things like outside but isn't used to being outside so he's enjoying it the way he knows. Maybe that woman crying needs someone and has a whole story that needs to be told but no one wants to listen. You should listen. All those stories? You could be afraid but kind to those in need. You're nice to your friends, right? I mean maybe only most of them. Or do you not have friends that care about you as a person? Well that's unfortunate because you may be the greatest person anyone could know. You have those thoughts of yours that some may not agree with. And? That's them and not you! If they decide to think one thing about you because one thing you decide to say to them, then they can do that. You're allowed to be frustrated but don't let it ruin your life. You have other people that actually want to understand you, like I'd love to try and understand you. Just have maybe coffee, tea and maybe a book or someone to talk to and go on with your life as the other person may go on with theirs.

You?

Excited for something, anything, to happen. Maybe for that special someone to be there suddenly for you especially when you may be missing someone else. Maybe its someone that gives you firsts. May it be a certain TV show? Its not always someone that helps of seems. Sometimes is could be something that helps you down that road. But maybe those eyes keep your heart up, maybe they have muscles that can help keep you walking. Maybe you are just able to really be on your own like so many fakers sing about. Maybe you're just making it and thanking God that you're alive and well enough to do anything with that power He may give you. Maybe you are happy. Maybe sad. Maybe just trying to be sad or trying to be happy. Whatever you are doing you are working on something in your head. No matter what you are not stupid. You always have your own ideas that you need to keep up unless maybe you find that one thing that you know you may count on and you live forever.

Past Crush... Future... What?

You may find something in your life that may seem too good to be true. Maybe its a crush from long ago that has just figured that he now has feelings for you. "Could it be true?" You may ask. But also you should ask "Do I really still have feelings for this person?" Well... do you? Does he still give you that gracious feeling? But wait, why has he Come out now? Why did he decide to tell you not only he has feelings for you, he always has? Is this real though? Could this be truth or is it just what they think you want to hear? Do you want to hear it now? Now why is it so confusing?! It was just a crush when those things mattered most to me! I mean, will this be going on to more deeper things? Or is this only for these few minutes they seem to remember you?

It Could Be... It Couldn't Be

One life may corrupt another without realizing it. But also one life may regenerate another. You may encourage one another through anything you do. You may also discourage anything that comes to you through a touch of a finger or a single word. YOu never know how you can affect someone until something happens... Or maybe something doesn't happen. They could be overjoyed by why you do something. People are all so different though, it could be confusingly clear if you look straight at it. It could also be so very unclear that it may be staring you in the face that you don't see what you could be seeing if you really wanted to look. But it's easier not to look sometimes. It's only sometimes easier to look to figure it out. What if you can? Will you solve a long forgotten problem? Open your mind and see what may be if you do push that but, cut open that mystery, listen to your theories. Anything may happen around you, but you never know what WILL happen until you actually do something about it.

Keeping Moments

These are moments we must seize as they come from the ground. The moments that happen too fast but so slow you can't catch it cuz you're the one in slow motion. Hold that moment in your mind, you may need it later. That moment when you get your first kiss. May it be exhilarating and so much of up in the clouds for as long as you may keep it there. If you can't stand it for very long then, you may wish you had later. Keep those moments close for any hard times because they will come your way soon if they haven't already. Do not dwell in those mistakes you make or maybe others make. Make moments count to be remembered especially when you're going down really hard on yourself. You are a person that matters very much in this world. You may not know what it is yet but when the time comes, you'll always know. For me? No I haven't had the right time for whatever I am supposed to be yet. I am just hoping and praying that the day will come that I know and may tell all that they may be happy for me. Otherwise I may perish without purpose.

What Shall I Be?

What would I be famous for, if I were to be famous at all? Shall it be what I believe in? Would it be that people think I sing well? Could it be for my personality? Would it be my supposed beauty? Maybe my love for everyone? Maybe my ableness to care for children? Maybe my eating habits or the fact that I am impressed by big burps? Maybe the fact that I give random information that none but me knows that really doesn't matter if anyone else knows? Could it be my love for trees such as those glorious redwoods? Maybe my insight into what people may or may not be thinking of? Who knows but the people? Will I ever know before I die? Will I be famous. This is highly improbable but I can only hope that I can do something in the world to somewhat improve it with or without my name being known. Maybe I'll have cancer and leave without a trace. Maybe people will care. I won't know until it happens. But whatever happens, I hope people are able to find happiness, true happiness, that lasts longer than a few days.

Why Me?

The reason I seem to "give advice" or whatever you may want to call it, is because they are mostly things that I myself actually need to work on. It is very easy for me to give advice that some may agree with without being capable to actually apply it to myself. Most of what I tell you, most of what I scream out is what I am trying to work on. I am very much not a perfect person that's figured things out. I am only ordinary and boring but in some ways, I know how to give people ideas that sometimes help. I can't say whether or not what I say does really help people, I can only look to see if people read what I say. If I see comments, yes I jump for joy. I want to see if people do agree with me. I want to see what I could maybe change in myself to possibly be a better person that's able to be joyful around everything. I only need help from whatever audience I may be entertaining with my little stories of what I think are right and wrong.

Sun And Moon?

Looking at the sun. It has its beauties. It shines and makes the world go round in ways that only it can. It helps growth and keeps some people happy with its warm rays. It seems to keep warmth to itself also, those days when its bright and freezing at the same time. Its a jealous thing to never be ignore for its dearest lover the moon is most admired. This lady Luna has many names but all never tell the real beauty of this glorious thing. She shines enough to let those that need, to see. She helps those stranded to find a way. She shines as no one else may and shows the earth how she is powerful by the way she moves the waves, the waters of any kind, to different lengths than in the day. Her nighttime hunting for her lost love helps others find what they've been missing. People find either they have found everything in one person it nothing in something so insignificant they focus so much on that, they can't find that true thing that they need. The dearest moon finds the small things in life to make us smile. She is kind so she may one day be reunited with her dearest love, the sun. Will they be allowed longer lengths of time with each other. Shall they be together forever at last? Will we ever know such results? Shall it be in this way, a great and glorious day which we behold in wonder? Playing those keys until the end of time...

Only My Opinion?

As far as anyone can go when it comes to things we want, we feel like we never get far enough. We never go enough of one way to be able to stay in that one position you may want to be. Are you wanting to be happier all the time? What are you able to do about that? How can you change your outlook on life? Now my opinion is that following God can help. Reading His word. Listening to Him. Deciding He knows best and keeping still until He tells you when and what. If you ask Him a question, wait for His answer. His answer could be no. It also could just be patience until He decides to tell you His plan. What do you do? Will you listen. What if He answers no? Do you give up? Well I hope not. His time is so different than ours. If we give up, what will we become? Will we just be quitters for the rest of our lives? Will we excel in everything else to try and forget those hard things to accept? Will we be moaning and complaining of what we can't have when we have so much already? Well, just decide. Decide your fate and the fates of others around you shall change in colour as you decide yours. Will you be blue and down? Or extravagant and orange? Always your decision how you take things no matter what people think you must do. You're the greatest you when you are only you.

What is In His Eyes?

His eyes. They are pools of confusion and sadness. As he looks away and you look at them you can see the wheels turning. He's pondering what life he may have or maybe something that was said. Maybe its how you look and whether or not he should comment. Maybe its what you may be thinking or what could possibly happen next. Whatever it is, it seems to have taken him to a different world that's possibly destroying him. Is it your fault? He may say no but you know it is. You try keeping the silence for whatever amount there is until one of you find something to comment. Is it a good comment? He answers but you still must wonder, what is he really thinking as he just stares off. Its probably the past but you never know. He could be thinking of someone or something but who could that possibly be? If you could know his thoughts maybe the world would be better? Maybe it would make your world worse? Would everything fall apart or would it get better because you understand him? It may even out a little at least. But that hopelessness you may see in his eyes... its not something you want to look at but its also something you can't help but look at sometimes.

Silence...?

Do you feel silence? Or is it just something that you can or can't hear? Well silence to me is different. It's something you hear and feel. Silence is somewhat peaceful. Especially depending on who you're with. If that person is able to silently sit with you while looking in that distance, they either know what you're feeling with this wonderful silence or they're thinking of what to say next because maybe they feel silence is awkward. Silence is only awkward if you make it so. If you think it is then it is. It all depends on you but it doesn't have to be. Silence is a beautiful thing unless it's that angry silence. Find a way to be happy in that silence otherwise it's a tensioned silence which is never fun. Silence to me is peaceful, not bad, not aggravating. It's something to look forward to. Of course silence is also not only this thing that's no sound. It's also the wind singing it's silent song. It's the water mumbling to you it's secrets of the world. It's the trees telling each other what the squirrels and birds may be doing and looking down on you. Not in the sense that they think you're worthless, but in the sense that they're smiling and thinking how young and naive we may be. Silence may also be those thoughts that you've left to the side to think on later and think only of those things that are calming. Maybe it's listening to music that keeps you happy. What is your idea of silence...?

Hold On When Its Hard

How are you able to determine whether someone is trustworthy or not? Well it depends on the person you are. Whether you're able to discern a persons character and thoughts and feelings as easily as you can taste something. Now I don't know anyone like this but it'd be a great skill indeed. But you as this other person who has to, in one way, test how trustworthy a person is. Unfortunately not many people are to be trusted at all and its not always easily seen until one thrilling (said in a despairing way) day that crushes someone. Now you do need yo move on. Its sometimes hard. Especially when you felt like this person was either close or amazing in some way. Whatever happens, you do need to hold on. To those that are really there for the actual and important you that they've led you to believe they were there for. Keep holding on because if you let go everything could fall apart even more and you never know where it could go from there. Hold on to those proven friends and family that have shown to be true over times more than you could count.

That feeling when you're sick because you feel bad. You feel bad because why? Because you told that someone you like them but also stupidly told them that you don't want to like em because they don't believe in the same thing. Why feel bad then? We are both just people right? Well we are people but not just people. We are people with a somewhat forbidden like. And also maybe you made the other kind of go backwards in the line of thinking. Maybe you wish none of that had been said. Can you change it? No. Can you still be friends. It almost doesn't seem like it but that may break the heart more. But what is there to be done? Can you pretend it didn't happen? Technically yes but lets face it, it'll still hurt. I mean you could ignore beliefs and go on in happiness and let it crash and die. Or wait. It sucks but waiting is possibly the best option sometimes.

So What?

It almost seems like I can't do certain things that I want and I don't want to do certain things that I need. Isn't that everyone though? Can't we all say that we only do what we want and not what we need? Shouldn't we try hard to do what we need? Its a decision that must be made by one human and may be held by others if its carried through in the correct manner. So what if it happened that we held to our promises? We kept those things we say we will do although its hard to do? Well things might go along smoother in a way. Things between people would be somewhat nice. We'd be at least a bit happier. So why don't we? Excuses. We bring up excuses that either don't make sense or don't matter. Why? Because we are too much of lazy asses to do otherwise. We can do things but dude, apparently its 'too hard' and what not. Well so what? If you really want it, get it. If you can't get it. Work harder. Like with women. I don't believe in playing 'hard to get' is really fair but if a man really wants, he should actually try to get rather than it being too easy. Of course girls really shouldn't ever be mean about it. There is never a reason to be mean to either your crush or someone that's crushing on you. I mean you shouldn't pretend to like a man but you shouldn't be mean about it either way. Be respectful either way. Men should be to. Everyone should at least be respectful.

My One Question

My one question. How are you able to think you're a great person without sounding arrogant? I cannot find a way for this to be possible. I cannot see how you can seem just genuinely thrilled with yourself without seeming to love yourself too much. Is there a way to think yourself positively brilliant without spoiling joy of someone? Brilliant in the way that I am great as myself, as a person that people may think I am. That's one of the only things that bother me. I'd love to think of myself better but I extremely don't want to be arrogant or to be thought of as arrogant. That would be a terrible thing indeed.

Do You Know?

You know those people that seem so overly confident and arrogant? Those people that "know they're amazing" and tell everyone? Those people sometimes are actually hurting. They have to be confident looking so that people will notice. Maybe they don't get any or enough of that at home or anywhere. Maybe they were made fun of somewhere and needed change so maybe people would like them. You should never put down anyone just cuz they're mean. Maybe you shouldn't be the greatest friends with them but you can always say hey once in a while to anyone and find out how they're doing. There are also those depressed people. Those people you don't know if they're gonna be gone tomorrow, the next hour it the next minute. You never know who those people could be. Of course there are those actually over confident people. You still need to love them even if they act some way that isn't great. All you can do is try to make someone feel better whether they look like they need it or not. You never know either way.

What is Genuine? (Friends)

Watch out! Your friend may be telling you complete lies! I'm not talking about your boyfriend or girlfriend. I'm saying your friend. Maybe even someone that says they're your best friend. You can't trust alot of people! Why do we? Because its easier to think that everyone is trustworthy rather than have to be careful. But if we were careful things would possibly be different. 1: it'd be hard for people to feel betrayed by anything almost. 2: maybe more people would be genuine in what they say to people. 3: there would possibly be less heart breaks. This is what I think it should be like anyway. What if we were those nice people? Well what if we were hippies and decided peace and love were more important than being clean, than looking good. Who really cares? They only judge. Whether it be what they think a good judgement or bad, its still a judgement. Now you find your true friends by possibly not caring for certain things that you used to or change in different ways. The people that look at you badly for whatever aren't the good friends. People that either love your change or respect it but maybe don't totally agree with it, they're your true friends. You can trust them to tell you what they actually think of you, the world, music or anything you might think is cool. If people like things just cuz you do, that's not genuine.

Working Together?

A lovely thing that seems more than enough to keep us happy for only a short time. A short time that seems like forever until something ends it. Whether a break up or a death, it's short lived because one decides that attration is the ultimate part of a relationship. Only then does the other say they'll do anything to get them back. That's when the advantages are taken and the heart is broken into a million more pieces. What if we relied more on trust? Or at least respect. No this is never only one gender's thing to do. It always goes both ways. Men do it one way, women do it another, but when you look at it it's somewhat the same. The woman takes advantage of a man just as a man takes advantage of a woman. I hate that men are dissed because supposedly they're evil while women are sexy. Women give that permission by trying too hard to sexy and that's why men act like "Dogs". Can't we decide to love someone for more than the legs or the eyes or anything physical? Can't we see past that filth and hear whether or not someone, or something, will last? Whether it's worth it to really care deeply about a person? Can't you just talk about what you don't like and work it out? Don't beat each other up whether it be through physical or emotional means. Work together. Try to at least and see what happens.

Now. Think.

Thinking about one so great as, lets say, a friend. This friend, is she/he your best friend? Is this your close friend that knows everything about you? Or was he/she? They moved on maybe? They decided something else was more important? They have things going on and don't see you trying to help and blow you away? Well all you can do is keep loving and keep trying and when the moment comes again embrace and cherish. Can you do anything else? Well there's always fighting but that does nothing but breaks hearts and lives and friendships. We don't want that no matter what may be on our minds. Just keep it calm and you can try not to get hurt. You can try and not hurt anyone else while you're at it. Could we come together and do this? Or do things need to be more about the ME's and less about the YOU's? Decision, decisions yes I know, exhausting. So we pick what we think as the easiest, don't we? But we don't really accomplish much if we do that. We still hurt and are hurt. What if we worked harder on being those people we want others to be? Maybe that person that is kind whether or not they're kind or even care. But wait. This person notices this kindness. What is this? He/she does the same! Goodness the world can turn it's back for one second and BOOOOOOOOOOOM! a little kindness goes a long way.

Hello. I Am A Robot. (But What Is My Real Name?)

Hello. I am a robot. My name shall be revealed at a later date. I am a controling nincompoop that will not let you live in happiness or harmony. I must make you feel like you have to keep getting prettier until you really do look ugly. I feed you filth so you feed me the rest so I may destroy you in other ways. I tell you what clothes are right, what food is right, what make up is right. You have found what I say convincing enough that you listen. I have decided to take control of you now and you cannot do anything about it. You let me. Now you may all be robots. There are those few that decide not to be and they must suffer, at least mostly, for this. I need to be in your mind to operate different triggers so you may know MY right from wrong. What is my name? I am not what you may think. I am not one man nor woman that thinks I have it all. I am that society that makes you think twice (or more) in the morning. What makes you think you shouldn't wera certain things cuz they aren't fashionable. Thank you for listening. I have become powerful as you have made me in your life. I shall become more and more as your days go on and I appreciate this control. Goodbye, I'll see you in your dreams, when you're awake anytime I'll need to feed which is always. Have fun cringing and suffering.

This Sight To Behold

Look at that. That beautiful sight. The trees with the sun coming through the leaves. Those amazing and huge redwoods, the smell of the trees and dirt and you turn a corner, go down a little hill and you see it. The stream. That stream that mumbles along it's way as if it's trying to tell you something but you have to keep listening, no talking, to hear the song as the wind comes into the chorus and brings along the leaves of trees. This song goes on with the birds singing the verses to tell the world that it is this day and no other day. That you should think of this day, not tomorrow or yesterday but this day that goes on for these hours.

Respect, Trust, Commitment, and Real Love

Now relationships. People seem to think they're easy. Others think they're too hard to handle so the "just have fun" each night. Some people really get wise and really decide to become someone real but are you able to find someone else that "is real" ? Not very easily at all. All anyone wants is sex. All they get or care about is sex. Could we be more immature? Or could we please decide its better to wait. No its never too late to change. I'm not thinking "oh you're a bad person,you had sex and you'll never change!" I'm thinking you have a choice at any time to change your behavior and be someone to respect and be respected. Respect really is one key to a good relationship. Another is trust. If you trust who you're with, you know they won't do certain things. If they trust you back and tell you all, this relationship stays unless you get in a fight which comes to something else to try and kelp you stuck together. Commitment. This is something everyone has a hard time with. They don't like something they break up or they're scared or anything, its easily broken up. It shouldn't be so easy. Commitment to actually want to stay together is another key element. If you're together just cuz they give it good then you shouldn't be there. And real true love. Many people don't believe in it but it's always been there. Real true love isn't this thing called love that you can go back on. This real thing is unconditional love. No condition to this love, you will always love no matter what. You both may have problems with something but then you work it out. You don't need to yell and fight about it, be calm, sincere and a good listener. Yes very hard to do but with time it may become easier. So Respect, Trust, Commitment, and Real True love. Learn these for a better day

These Questions Of Stress

This feeling of stress I have only just obtained has taken my feelings to a different level and has hidden what I really am feeling inside. What may I be feeling? Pressure? Happy? Sad? Mad? Guilt? Or any other possibility that, I don't know why I would have this feeling. It scares me and it shocks me into tears or almost tears each night which is becoming quite annoying. It's become some sort of evil routine that cannot be stopped. I might also be scared at the thought of growing up. It seems like I'm supposed to just know what to do once I'm a certain age and people get confused when I don't jump to such a big step. I am always going to be me and me changing, if I really must, will be very slow moving. I'll try an be mature but this society kinda says not to, to just "Live Life' cause "Life is short" and all that. Yes Life may be short, but what's right here and now should be at least mostly priority. It shouldn't be all party, games and sex. There are better things to live to and keep growing with. Should we really be thinking about getting "Knocked up?" Is this really the importance of life? Should this be the only thing to look forward to? What do your friends do? The rebuke and judge you for being pregnant and they MIGHT come back when the baby is born and say "Oh it's so cute!" but does that make them your real friends? Does that make YOU happy?