Wanty. Not Needy!

I feel like I'm so needy. I mean I don't actually need anything I've been basically begging for in my head. I'm more of wanty. It's the stupidest thing but I still feel this way so often. I feel like I need a guy to be happy but that's just because I want a guy because he'd possibly make me feel better and I really want to get married. It's so hard not to feel like I need these things because the world says do what you want because what you want is right no matter what. Then they contradict themselves... Humans are such contradictions, really. It bothers me so much sometimes. Anyway, that doesn't matter. The fact of the matter is, I hate feeling and thinking that I need a man when I really only want one. I understand the world of relationships isn't all amazing and joyful always but man, getting stronger is a part of life whether it's only you or with a significant other. One sad thing is I have set high standards for men though I keep getting caught in these traps called feelings. I shake my head and try to laugh it off but these feelings are just so huge sometimes and people encourage them. It helps nothing that I'm trying to do and it creates such a mess in my head I may explode. We'll see. Thank you...