Dizzying Depression Bahagian Dua

The whisper of your last words to me... they were sweet as honey but harsh and hot like terrible tea. But you make everything seem so appealing, though your leaving me breaks my. I don't even understand what you're saying to me anymore. I hug you through it, though. Tears follow the bend of my cheeks while you keep talking, crying yourself. Why're you crying? I mean nothing to you anymore. Why do you keep talking. The sound of your voice is only a background to my heart beat that seems to beat louder to block out your melodious voice. I hug you because I want to think of it as my holding onto you for dear life as I might be falling off a cliff. You let go, I can feel myself falling down... down... down into the dark abyss of my soul. I wake among rocks, holding me up, letting me die slowly. I breathe, breathing hurts, of course. I start thinking of everything I ever imagined would happen between us. Everything that would never be. I contemplate my fate that has been put into my hand to possibly crush. Attempting is very tempting. I let go instead. The rocks might keep it company. I walk away, blinded by what could never be. I sit, cry loudly and hope that everything could be different. It takes a few years, a few months and a few days. Life is brilliant enough. I think I meet him. He picked up my heart, hugged and cared for it. A month goes by quickly. Months go too quickly when something is obviously meant to end. I found my heart beaten, crushed on shards of glass, stomped on by a stampede of mustangs. Shock became my new friend as everything seemed to be tumbling down around me as everyone was turning on me, I couldn't grasp the cliff. I couldn't even imagine the cliff, I didn't know of it's existence anymore. Where had it gone? Nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Why? I cannot even as the correct question, all of this is so confusing and unbearable. I can't imagine the questions that are trying to bubble up within me. Why? I can't fathom the answers. I'm unable to understand what it is that is truly going on around me, shock eats me up, uses me as a plaything. Why couldn't I see it coming? Well, I could. I just didn't want the truth to be what it was. I couldn't help wanting what I did, I could help the actions that were obviously going to hurt me. I put my feelings onto a platter, believing that a chef so beautiful, would only look and not actually touch and cut it up. I can only cringe at this mistake. I can only laugh it off and know that everything has to get worse before it gets better.... Thank you and see you all on the other side.