Possibly Not Something I Truly Know...

Even though I don't care much for human beings, animals aren't better. They can't communicate intelligently though some may wish it. I wish my ferret could speak to me, comfort me in different ways other than her constant almost knowing whether I'm feeling well or not. She doesn't truly comfort my feelings inside. Human beings seem to be good for that, when they know how to hug properly of course. Animals are smelly, ignorant things that sometimes seem to sense our feelings and seem to know a bit about the weather. As much as I dislike humans, I do actually have a few human friends that I appreciate. I have a few human friends that actually lift up my spirits when they seem to enjoy the floor life. There are only a few but apparently that's all that is really needed sometimes. You know, I do actually know that sometimes nothing helps. I have those feelings some days. And on those days I decide to go pretend to be someone social. I pretend my life is swell, as if things don't happen to me other than goodness. The reason I do this is because, instead of trying to keep myself inside and close everyone out, I try to comfort those outside so I might have a reason to forget my sorrows. It's hard sometimes because tears betray me and my words sometimes come out to tell the world what I actually feel. I'm told not to bottle up my feelings which I try to do anyway, I just don't enjoy showing the public the tears. Are my tears important? No, the rest of the world has so much more to cry about. Yet here I am, tearing up because I can't have all the wonders of the world, or just one boy. I now can only shake my head and tell myself "it's okay" and "It happens" as well as "That's about right". That's when I'm told "I deserve better" and such things as that. But I thought what I had WAS better. Well, apparently not. And so, I will go on looking for my 'better' that I supposedly 'deserve' and hope it finds me instead. Why it hasn't been found already? Well, perhaps it was found elsewhere by another more fortunate. I can only sigh and hope for a better, better than wheat I thought was good for me. I'll shrug, smile, laugh and enjoy the little things in life that I can. I hope some of you might join me? It will surely be a grand adventure. Wild, crazy and possibly dangerous but if we go together, maybe we'll find a safe place that is our better. Let us fly and believe that this "better" is real and is able to be found. Thank you...